


What kind of Benefits?

by lamergirl



Category: Smosh
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, break ups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 04:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20522177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamergirl/pseuds/lamergirl
Summary: “I think we should just have sex.”They had been talking about their experiences, both had some with girls and guys, and neither had gone all the way with a guy yet. Logically what Shayne had said made sense based on the conversation, but it took Damien off guard. Likely seeing the buffering look on Damien’s face as he gathered the words, Shayne continued, “I mean it doesn’t have to mean anything. It would just be for fun and the experience.” Despite how bold he was being, Shayne didn’t show any embarrassment on his face as he spoke, and Damien admired that so much he almost jumped him.Of course, he didn’t.





	What kind of Benefits?

**Author's Note:**

> So...  
I wrote this mostly in the notes in my phone throughout the week so I had no concept of how long it was until I finished it and sent it to my laptop so I could proofread it...  
and it was 8 pages in word...  
in comparison, my one-off fics usually are between 2-4 pages....  
so yeah lol  
enjoy!

The first few times, they had been still technically teenagers.

Both had been 18, new freshman and content in finding a new best friend in their college roommate. The two had clicked almost instantly and by the time they came back after Christmas break, Damien had developed a tiny crush. Nothing big, and something he had planned on keeping to himself, especially since he had mostly chalked it up to how close the two of them had gotten in such a short time.

Despite already being comfortable and familiar with Shayne by now, it didn’t take much for Shayne to stun him. It was almost a familiar feeling now, being stunned by something bold he would say, as oxymoronic as that sounded.

“I think we should just have sex.”

They had been talking about their experiences, both had some with girls and guys, and neither had gone all the way with a guy yet. Logically what Shayne had said made sense based on the conversation, but it took Damien off guard. Likely seeing the buffering look on Damien’s face as he gathered the words, Shayne continued, “I mean it doesn’t have to mean anything. It would just be for fun and the experience.” Despite how bold he was being, Shayne didn’t show any embarrassment on his face as he spoke, and Damien admired that so much he almost jumped him.

Of course, he didn’t.

“Would you really wanna do something like that?” Damien had asked after a moment and Shayne had a slight surprise in his expression as if he expected Damien to reject the proposal immediately.

“I don’t see why not. I mean isn’t that what college is for? Trying new things?” Shayne had said.

Deciding to try it, they had started kissing, sitting next to each other and sort of leaning into each-other and boy did it start out awkward. Neither of them really that experienced to quite know if what they were doing was ‘good’ or not. But it was nice, just stiff. Neither of them really got into it at first. It was Shayne who kicked it up a notch.

Of course, it was.

He broke the kiss and sort of pushed Damien down and straddled his lap. Before he leaned in all the way he stopped and looked Damien into the eyes for a moment, with a very extra dramatic flair he spoke softly, “don’t go falling in love with me”

Damien found himself laughing into the kiss that followed and the joke had stripped the situation of most of its awkwardness. I mean it was still awkward, it was both of their first times doing that, but it was good and it was pretty hot, as first times go and when they were done and both laying very close in Shayne’s tiny ass bed, they both said they would do definitely do it again.

And they did. 3 more times that semester to be exact. The only problem with their new ‘arrangement’ was that Damien’s crush was starting to become more than he had signed up for. It didn’t help that Damien knew that he wasn’t the only one fucking Shayne either. While yes, he was the only one who fucked him more than once, Shayne didn’t feel the need to hide the occasional hookup at a party, especially since they were still best friends, just friends who had fucked a few times.

During summer break Damien became acutely aware that their arrangement will not be resuming when they get back because Shayne starts dating a girl that the two had shared a writing class with. Her name was Courtney and she was nice. Damien enjoyed her company, which was good because she was seemingly always in their dorm room. The only problem and Damien might have been a little biased, she didn’t really know how to make Shayne laugh as Damien did. Sure, she had her moments that had them all rolling, but Damien could get Shayne to laugh his ass off pretty easily with a well-timed joke, and he held onto that.

Shayne and Courtney lasted, longer than Damien thought they would, a full year and a half. They ended up breaking up because of something to do with Courtney’s sister, either she thought that Shayne had hit on her or she didn’t like him, Shayne apparently hadn’t been that sure which because he came back to the room the day after meeting Courtney’s sister fighting back tears because Courtney had very vaguely broken up with him.

Even after Shayne got over her, Damien didn’t even let himself think about their previous relationship. And he kept that streak for a while. They graduated college with their acting degrees and immediately got minimum wage jobs that could barely help pay for the tiny apartment the two shared with 2 other friends from college. It was about two years into waiting tables by nights and auditioning for anything and everything by day that the real arrangement started.

By this point, Damien had gained plenty of his own experience. He had dated on and off in college, mostly guys, but it wasn’t until they had really been thrown into the real world that he had had an actual serious relationship. The guy’s name was Wes and he was definitely a catch. The two had met in an audition waiting room and the chemistry had been there right away. They both had a lot in common and the conversation flowed easily.

Shayne seemed to like him enough. If Damien didn’t know better though, it seemed like Shayne more tolerated Wes than liked him. He would make small talk if they were left alone or politely include him in the conversation if they were all hanging as a group, but that was it. Damien never brought it up of course because what exactly did he wants from Shayne in that situation? To take his boyfriend shopping every Friday night?

They almost hit two years when Wes got an amazing opportunity to film the lead in a show that would be filming on location in New York.

They talked about trying to make it work, Wes having to move across the country for a role, but in the end, when he dropped Wes off at the airport, Damien knew that it was the end.

He cried and Shayne comforted him, and it made him feel better. Damien didn’t quite get over Wes as quick and Shayne had gotten over Courtney. And though Damien tried very hard to make himself appear ok, he struggled with it. Shayne, always being able to read Damien like a damn book, confronted him about it one morning while Damien had been eating cereal in the living room. He tried giving him advice on how to make himself feel better.

“Like pretty much everyone at my high school used to say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” Shayne had said and Damien had snorted into his cereal bowl.

“And who exactly am I getting under?” He had humored.

“Whoever you want. The point is it’s meaningless and just for fun. It pulls you out of that slump. That’s how I got out of my funk so I could get over Courtney.” Shayne had explained and Damien had looked up.

“I’m not you Shayne. I can’t go to parties or a bar, and just pick up a random cute girl or guy and just fuck them.” Damien sighed, focusing back to his cinnamon toasted flakes.

“You did that several times in college. What’s different now?” Shayne asked plopping onto the couch next to Damien.

“Shayne, those times I was very drunk and I regretted every one of those.” Damien took another bite, “I much prefer doing things with someone I already know and like”

“Well...” Shayne said, and Damien immediately looked at Shayne, something about Shayne’s tone catching Damien’s attention, “remember, we did it a few times?”

“...we did,” Damien agreed, and now he was remembering it. Remembering how great it was.

“... we could do that again?” Shayne finally finished. Damien must have made a face because Shayne continued. “I mean if you want to, it would be just for fun, no strings attached. It’s just an idea since I’m someone you know and hopefully like” Damien laughed at that.

“I mean Shayne, when we did that last time, we were literally still teenagers. Now your 25 and I’m about to turn 25. It’s gonna be different. And I don’t wanna mess up what we have.”

“We aren’t. I mean last time; we were literally children and now we are more mature adults. We can handle this even better than we did back then. And there was barely a hiccup when I came back to school dating, Courtney. Listen I’m not saying we have to, but it’s just a suggestion that I’m down for.” Shayne said and once again, just like all those damn years ago, Shayne didn’t look embarrassed. Not even a little. Knowing Shayne as well as he did now, that wasn’t the most common experience. He must have been pretty sure about this.

Damien put down his cereal. “No strings attached?” He asked and once again there’s was a twinge of surprise in Shayne’s expression.

“No strings attached.” He answered.

“Just for fun?”

“Just for fun”

And then, they were making out on the couch. This time was very different than the first one. For one it was less awkward. This was a far cry from it being the first time they went all the way with a guy. Not that they were both masters, not by any stretch of the imagination, but both having much more experience under their belts, they were more sure about their actions, less hesitant and nervous. It was good. _Really_ good.

While last time “omg, I’m fucking my hot roommate” had passed through his mind a lot, this time “omg, I’m fucking _Shayne_” definitely passed through. There was a brief moment of worry because of how fucking good it was. But he easily got distracted because of how _fucking good_ it was.

Damien clearly hadn’t been the only one to think so because a few days later they did it again. And a few days after that. They had become friends with benefits, like in the stereotypical way where it was practically a relationship without the romance. At first, Damien thrived in it. The second time they had sex he even pushed Shayne down and just like Shayne had said the first time, said seductively, “now, don’t fall in love with me” and Shayne just had to laugh at that. It was too perfect. It was just like a relationship, but nobody knew about the private aspect of it. They were just best friends who just occasionally fucked.

After a few months of this new arrangement, things started getting a little sticky. One of their mutual friends had asked Damien out and automatically he had sent Shayne the screenshots. He hadn’t really thought about it and either way they were still supposed to be best friends, right? And while Shayne didn’t actually react badly, it was kind of obvious that the encouragement was entirely forced. It wasn’t like Damien had really planned on going out with them though. And when he told Shayne later that he had politely declined, Shayne immediately went back to being chill.

Damien didn’t know how to feel about that. Shayne’s not very hidden reaction gave Damien a bad feeling. And he started to wonder if starting this had been a mistake.

Around that time as well he had started actively suppressing some stupid feelings of jealousy himself. He refused to believe he had gotten back those same feelings again and chalked it up to wanting Shayne all to himself as the clingy person he always had been to his close friends.

They had been fucking for nearly 7 months when Shayne came home drunk from some birthday party that Damien hadn’t been able to go to, with somebody in tow. It was a guy, a tall and skinny thing who was probably as drunk as Shayne clearly was. Damien had been on his laptop playing a game on his computer (yes at one in the morning and yes, he was aware it was a problem) when they came in. Shayne noticed him as they stumbled past and paused for a second “Noah this is my roommate Damien.” He said, slurring his words and barely letting Noah get out a quick ‘hey man’ before pulling him into his room and closing the door behind them.

Damien couldn’t let himself suppress his feelings any longer as he found himself crying on the front steps of their apartment building. It wasn’t Shayne’s fault, Shayne hadn’t known he had feelings for him, Shayne actually expected him to not have feelings for him. He couldn’t blame anyone but himself. And he knew that.

The next morning, he cut it off with Shayne. He gave him some bullshit excuse about how he wanted to put himself out there more and so that arrangement wouldn’t work for him anymore and Shayne said he understood. Damien felt like he detected some disappointment in his voice but didn’t let it get to his head.

And then, a lot more time passed.

They eventually moved out of the tiny shitty apartment and got their own places when the money got stable enough. Damien had a steady roll of voice acting gigs and Shayne had landed himself as a regular spot on a popular tv show.

Both of them got into serious relationships and Damien felt that he and Boze would go the distance. She moved in with him and the two talked about marriage and kids and it seemed all of the heartaches from the past was behind him. Shayne got into a serious relationship with a very odd but charming girl named Olivia and the two couples did a few double date type things, but Damien and Shayne weren’t anywhere near as close as they used to be.

They still texted occasionally and tried to make time for each other once a month, but it wasn’t the same as it used to be. And maybe for the best. That’s probably why when Shayne told Damien that he and Olivia had broken up, Damien hesitated. Did he send his apologies and ask if he was ok, or ask if he wanted to come over and get away from everything? Or did he show up at Shayne’s house at 2 am With his favorite movies and plenty of snacks like he used to do when Shayne needed it?

He eventually chose the first option.

They were adults. They weren’t fresh out of college, in 2 years they would both be thirty. It wasn’t the same.

Then of course came that night.

The night Damien came home to find Boze had packed up and moved out while he had been at work that day. She had been extremely thorough, all the pans she had bought with her own money were gone from the kitchen, her favorite curtains that she had picked out were no longer in the living room, even the ottoman in their bedroom was gone. It was as if almost every trace of her had gone.

She had left a note of course. As soon as he had realized what she had done he knew he would find one. He found this one folded neatly in the topmost empty drawer where her clothes used to be. It was long. Unnecessarily long. The long and short of it was she wasn’t happy. She wanted something else, something new, something to make her feel more fulfilled. She even said she left him the way she did because if she had given him the chance, he might have convinced her to stay and she would have married him and been unfulfilled and unhappy for the rest of her life.

Damien read the letter 10 times before it really sunk in. In the course of one workday, everything had been ruined. And now walking around the half-empty apartment, he couldn’t get away from it. All the spots where her things had been, were screaming for his attention.

He grabbed his keys and his phone, and he left.

He didn’t really have a plan when he got in the car, just that he needed to go somewhere else, anywhere else. It was in the car, as he started driving somewhere automatically, that he realized he hadn’t even cried yet. He wasn’t sure he could really feel at all at the moment.

He hadn’t even realized he was driving to Shayne’s until he was suddenly turning into Shayne’s street. He parked in Shayne’s apartment complex parking lot and walked quickly to his door, hoping to god his friend was home.

Shayne opened the door in a pair of gym shorts and a loose-fitting t-shirt and looked mildly confused, to say the least, at the sudden company at his door. “Damien?” He questioned in greeting and that’s all it took. Damien broke down right there on Shayne’s doorstep. Shayne wasted no time in pulling Damien inside and into a big hug. He felt Shayne close and lock the door behind them as he stood there crying into Shayne’s shoulder. They stood there for a long moment and Shayne didn’t say anything, not to ask what was wrong, not to ask if he was ok (probably because he was clearly not), he just held him as his body racked with the sobs that wouldn’t come to him when he was in his apartment alone.

When Damien’s crying calmed down. Shayne pulled away to lead him into the living room. He sat him down and got him a glass of water. It wasn’t until Damien had taken a few gulps of water that Shayne finally asked, “what happened?”

Damien explained the scene he had walked in on, the tears streaming down his face as he talked in a seemingly endless waterfall. He even pulled out the note he had folded into 4 and stuffed in his pocket. Shayne read it quickly and folded it back carefully handing it back to Damien. They were silent for a moment.

“Man, do you think I could stay here for tonight? I don’t think I can go back to that apartment right now.” Damien finally broke the silence.

“Of course, you’re more than welcome here,” Shayne said, and he meant it.

The next morning Damien reluctantly returned back to his apartment, with encouragement from Shayne, to gather enough necessities to stay at Shayne’s place for a more extended period of time. At first, the plan was for him to stay a week, then a week turned it to a month, and then a month turned into moving out of the apartment and into Shayne’s guest bedroom. And this is how, at 28, almost 29, he found himself once again living with Shayne, and hopelessly single.

He and Shayne fit into each other’s lives perfectly, as if they had never, even temporarily, grown apart. And old habits were dying hard.

Damien couldn’t quite pinpoint the moment he started thinking about all his times with Shayne, but once he did, he started to miss it.

He told himself all he missed was the sex.

He’d see Shayne stretch in the morning, the sleep still in his eyes as he made breakfast and remember the mornings, he did that stretch at the foot of his bed, still naked. Shayne would run his fingers through his hair and Damien would remember when he got to run his fingers through Shayne’s hair. He would walk in from his morning workout, and head straight for the shower in his sweat-stained shirt and Damien wished he could join him for old time sakes.

Damien wondered if he was stuck in a cycle, doomed to live a life where he got close to Shayne, fucked Shayne, got his heartbroken by Shayne, got his heartbroken by Someone else and then get closer to Shayne again. As much as it felt like this had to be some sort of purgatory, and as much as Damien felt he couldn’t live through another heartbreak quite like the last one, he was very much looking forward to the next stage.

Which is probably why it happened the way it did.

It had been someone from Shayne’s job’s birthday and Shayne had invited him to come along. The party had been, of course, in a bar and Damien, someone who drank very rarely and only as a treat, had decided he deserved a much-needed treat. At least that was his excuse for keeping up with Shayne and getting drunk. They both behaved themselves at the party, and Damien didn’t quite realize how drunk he was until he was sitting next to Shayne in an Uber and found himself staring at Shayne’s lips as Shayne tried to appear sober to the driver who was making small talk.

When the small talk finally fizzled out, Shayne finally noticed Damien was looking at him and turned to look at him back.

That was when Damien kissed him, Shayne seemed pretty taken aback by this, and rightfully so. It must have been the alcohol that caused him to kiss back for a moment because when he realized what was happening, he pushed Damien back, “I think this is a mistake”

Damien tried to summon the confidence that Shayne had had, those times before, “I strongly disagree.” Is all Damien says, and Shayne looked at him for a second, searching his face for something. After a moment, Shayne finally gives up and suddenly they are kissing again.

Once again Damien finds this time to be so different from years before, but for different reasons, and maybe it was because they were drunk and not because of the time that had passed by, but either way it was nice. A nice and hot change of pace in the mess of Damien’s life.

The next morning Damien wakes up feeling good until he starts feeling guilty. Shayne had probably been right last night to think it was a mistake because now that he had gotten what he had been missing he realized how much he wanted more. More than no strings attached sex. Much more.

When Damien finally decides to fully open his eyes, he turned to see Shayne has been up and he is sitting on the side of the bed, his head in his hands. “Are you ok, Shayne?”

“What was that?” Shayne asked and Damien didn’t quite know how to respond.

“Um, us falling on old habits while pretty damn drunk?” Damien tried and something about what he said made Shayne stand up and start pacing. “Shayne, please just tell me what’s going on.”

“Here’s what’s going on, I’m tired of all these fucking strings!” Shayne says finally turning to look at Damien. The expression on his face must have made Shayne realize how little that made sense because he continued, “both times we did the no strings attached sex thing was my stupid idea and both times they bit me in the ass. I mean they both started off innocent enough, just about wanting to explore sexuality with someone I loved and was attracted to, but then all these fucking strings started getting in the way. It didn’t matter we said ‘no strings attached’ because those strings wouldn’t listen and attached themselves anyway”

“Shayne, what the fuck are you trying to say?” Damien asked sitting up.

“When we were freshmen, I developed a crush on you. It was little and stupid but also huge and I was so scared of ruining the friendship that I immediately started looking for someone else to date.” Shayne gets out and Damien holds his breath and Shayne continued, “but when we were living in that apartment together, I full-on fell for you. I fell so hard I knocked my own breath out of my lungs and this time it was even scarier. I was so confident you didn’t feel the same way, I sabotaged it myself, by fucking that random dude from Matt’s party. And to be completely honest I thought it would open up a conversation the next morning and not cause you to tell me you didn’t want to anymore. And I honestly should have known.” Damien didn’t say anything, he just sat there and listened while his heart beat faster than it ever had before. “And then I somehow managed to get over you, at least for the most part and I thought I would settle down with Olivia. I should have known I couldn’t expect her to agree to live in domestic bliss though. So, we broke up and then you came back into my life full force and to be honest, it started to feel like those feelings never left.” Damien moved over to the side of the bed that Shayne was standing by. “This time though I did nothing.” Damien swung his legs over the edge, so he was sitting on the side. “I didn’t sabotage it, but I also didn’t say anything, honestly I didn’t have the courage to-” Damien finally stood up and kissed him. This kiss was different than any other kiss the two had every shared. Damien tried to pour in every ounce of feeling reciprocation he could muster. When they broke apart for a breath, Shayne spoke, this time quieter, “please tell me there were some strings attached to that or the strings might strangle me.”

Damien smiles, “dude, right now, we are the walls behind the counter at a fabric store.”

And then they kissed again, letting themselves get tangled.

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you know, any comments at all absolutely give me the motivation to write. So whether you have nothing new to say except that you love a new chapter, you have some criticism, or you have a suggestion, please let me know! Your involvement means the world to me!  
(Also Follow my smosh blog on Tumblr @smoshjames)


End file.
